In the long list of zany, un-holiday holidays, this one may rank right up there with the best of them. March 3rd has been designated the day for the masses to ponder, “What if cats and dogs had opposable thumbs?”
Aside from creating the various scenarios that would occur if such a thing were true, we are also asked to take stock and give thanks that they do not have thumbs. Sure it would be great if our cat or dog used this ability to grip a mop or a vacuum, but chances are we are much more likely to see Fido kick back the recliner, open a bag of treats, grab the remote and watch Animal Planet all day.
Honestly, the cats and dogs of this world get into enough trouble as it is and the addition of opposable thumbs seems likely to only increase the amount they would create.
They would be able to open doors to the rooms we keep them out of, or even the front door to leave the house and use that new digit to hitchhike to the park and hang out with those “bad” dogs and cats. Maybe they would learn to hide those car keys when they know a visit to the vet is coming or lock you out of the house if they hear the bath running.
Created by Thomas and Ruth Roy, under the name Wellcat Holidays & Herbs, “What if cats and dogs had opposable thumbs?” Day certainly creates some very funny visuals, but it also reminds us how glad we are that they don’t. –Brendan Quealy